Short/Long Fiction

You know what, whoever joins/lurks this forum is lucky, because I'm going to give you an excuse to laugh at me.
As a hobby of mine, I've been a writer of short fiction for a long time, and in sophomore year of high school, I took a creative writing class. My DeviantArt page is the product of that class, and it's pretty laughable, if you ask me.
Welp, -->here<-- it is.
If you'd like to offer revisions or constructive criticism, then I'd love it.

Please, please, please post your own work so that I'm not the only one with writing up here.

Thanks,
-TheGood

Hey G-man (am I allowed to call you that? hehehe...sorry if not ^^) for bits of fiction shall I just copy and paste or do you want them to already be on the net and have a link set up? I ask because none of my fiction is on the net...

You can just copy and paste, we're not strict on formalities here

Most people call me "Goods" or "Good" or "TheGood", but I don't care what you call me.
I'd love to have somebody else's work in here, so it's not just my lonely posts.
Go ahead and post right in here!

Ok. This is the first part of one of my fictions. It's a FF fanfiction - 3 1/2 years after the FFVII game and includes FFVII characters as well as my own OOCs who are space pirates I dunno when this was started; maybe 5 years ago or so? And then I've added over the years. This is also my only fanfiction that is finished lol!
There aren't any references to FF in here but I'll put this now: I do not own Final Fantasy or any of the characters or acessories associated with the games or movies. This is merely a fanfiction to be used for personal, not commerical, use.

The cargo ship trudged through the black waves mechanically, sending ripple upon ripple out from the centre and replacing the stars reflections with jittery moving waves of light.
The crew looked around cautiously every so often; some of them turning their eyes up to where the stars shone down while others glanced over the silent expanse of water. They were restless; they could feel that something was about to happen.
“Pirates!!” The call came from the main deck where a man threw down his binoculars and yelled down the com link. “Pirates dead ahead!!”
“Get those lights up!” A bearded middle aged man with glasses stepped into the decks and peered out the windows, “I want those bloody lights up now!”
One by one massive rigging lights burst into life, flooding the cargo ship with artificial light and dazzling some of the crew as they shielded their eyes from the glare. Shouts and cries of fear rang through the air as others saw the shadow of a lean fighter ship cruise past. It glided alongside the cargo ship before disappearing back into the gathering mist and a few bold enough leant over the edge to try and see where it had gone.
“It’s not showing up on the radars Sir.”
“They won’t, they have some kind of shield that makes them invisible to us. Damn it!” The bearded man brought his fist down on the computer, making the screen shake for a moment before settling. “Find that blasted ship! Put out an SOS to the Patrol!”
The whole of the ship juddered suddenly along its length, making the crew in the main deck stop for a second. They listened with ears straining to catch any noticeable sound, but all there was were the creaks and clanks of the engine room and the ship itself. “Find me-“
The door to the main deck blew inwards with the force of the explosion, several crewmen getting thrown backwards as the rest scurried for cover. Cloud and smoke dissipated slightly to reveal a tall figure wrapped in a dark cloak, face partly obscured by a metal mask, the rest deep in shadow.

It walked swiftly into the room followed by another smaller figure dressed in the same way, both of them working methodically to haul up and tie the crew that were cowering under equipment and desks.
“P-please don’t k-k-kill me....pleeeeeee-“ A terrified man’s plea was cut short as the smaller of the two knocked him unconscious, chucking him unceremoniously on top of another quivering person.
The head foreman tried to stare down the taller figure as he was pulled up by his collar but all he could see were dark holes of nothing. The pirate chuckled in a dry feminine voice. “There is no point feigning bravery, you stink of fear.”
“What do you want with us?”
“At the moment, to be quiet.” She pushed him backwards, making him trip over his already tied up colleagues and go crashing to the floor. There was a small sound, as if someone was speaking quietly a long way off. The figures nodded to each other and the taller left the deck, leaving the other to finish tying up the men before moving to the ships log.
“We’re only a cargo ship, we hold nothing more than metal ore and ship parts.”
“Your point being?” The other figure was also female but although the voice was softer, there was an underlying quality to it that filled the man with dread.
“We carry nothing of...any value to you pirates.”
The figure ignored him, pouring through the log notes again until something seemed to catch her attention. “That’s where we disagree. Captain,” she added, talking to someone not in the room, “I’ve found it. In the cargo hold, starting from the third crate on the left.”
The man frowned in confusion, “There’s nothing in those crates but old shipping engines to be recycled.”
“I think you need to recheck your logs.” The figure moved to crouch in front of the man as he strained slightly against his bonds. If he was just able to get one hand free... “Sleep tight...”

She sent him down with a swift blow to the head, moving over the crew to leave the main deck. A monstrous shadow appeared to one side and she turned, seeing another of her group.
“We need to get moving.” What sounded like an earthquake rumbled overhead as he hoisted the crates he was carrying into a more comfortable position.
“Right behind you.” She trotted after him to where a sleek craft was hovering just above board and jumped inside, the doors closing seamlessly behind her without a sound.
“Hold onto something, Patrol is here.”
“I wonder why it took them so long to turn up.” She grabbed hold of the railing as the ship shot through the air, turning effortlessly and zipping away from the slower army vessels. Those in the air tried to give chase and a male voice came through her ears on the link.
“You need us on the guns Captain?”
“No Dax, don’t worry. They’re not giving me much of a challenge. They’ll be off our tails in a few seconds.” A chirpy female voice answered him as the ship darted and weaved through the night sky. “Cal, help Bern with the crates and get me a full list of what we have.”
“Righto Captain.” The woman said, following the big man down the corridor and clutching hold of the railings every so often. She had to admire Bern’s balance; for such a large bloke he moved with grace and agility almost equal to her own.

I read the hotel cat as well on DA G-man, and it's good. If you're up for any constructive crit I'll give it; just as you're more than welcome to do the same for me

Very interesting.
FFVII is my favorite video game, so I'd definitely enjoy something from that world.
The story was interesting. I wonder what's inside the crate. Is this going to be a continuing series?
As for constructive criticism, you get what you give.
If you'd like some, you'll have to give me some first =]
Hotel Cat is not perfect (or purrfect) so go ahead and crit away.
-TheGood

No to both lol! This is just a taster of my writing skills and I criticise my work enough; I don't need someone else to do it for me, though it would make things easier on myself. I adore FFVII as well and seeing my favourite character made 3D was a dream come true lol!
Is there more recent work of yours on DA that I could read, see the difference from when you first started?

Haha.
I don't have much recent creative writing. I've failed to find myself a muse.
I only have Prism stuff, really.
I've been working on a film side-project, so perhaps I'll share parts of the script as they develop.
-TheGood

Yeah, the muses tend to run away from me too o.O
The side project sounds interesting, I'd love to read some when you can put it on and the Prism stuff would be great too; it will also help me with outfits and so on as well. Are they up on the forums already or still in development?

Here's something else for your amusement
This is a completely fictional piece that I'd love to develop into a book some day...unfortunately, although fan-fiction seems to flow naturally I'm having so much trouble with this one. Only written 22 pages in about 4 years Maybe it's because all the characters are my own invention?
Titled: The Unas

Normal.
I used to know what that meant, used to take it for granted every day of my life.
I remember I never wanted to be normal; that I wanted to be something...more.
I remember thinking, ‘I just wish something would happen to me.’ Not something bad of course, no one really wishes for that...just something out of this world, something bold and sensational and spellbinding...
Something not normal.

Funny thing wishes.

I’m still wishing, only this time...I wish I was normal.

Nothing will ever be the same in my world again. Not for me, my friends, my family...not even for the milkman or the noisy neighbour across the street.
Nothing will be normal for anyone again.
But we’re all still wishing.

Sometimes I used to look back and think, ‘is this all really happening? Am I dreaming?’
I don’t anymore. I’ve come to accept what I have to do, what my group has to do. But even now we still hope.
We still wish.

Well, it happened before...why give up now?

“This isn’t going to work.”
“You are such a grouch, c’mon it’ll be fun!”
Callista pulled a face as she got dragged into yet another department store, “it was fun the first time, after the fifth shop though it’s now starting to really get monotonous.”
“Oh come on,” the other girl stopped and turned round to pout, “I just want a good bargain.”
“My feet hurt.”
“Stop complaining, we’ve just got this shop and then if I find that dress cheaper, I’ll get it from here.”
“That’s what you said before.” Callista sighed and pushed dark brown hair out of her eyes, “look, there’s a chair. I’ll go sit down and you can go shop to your little heart’s content.”
“You’re supposed to be my sister!”
“I can still be your sister on the chair.”
Melody snorted and folded her arms, “fine. Hold these; I’ll be back in a minute.” Several bags were dumped onto the floor as her slim frame stalked off, leaving the exasperated other to pluck them from the ground.
One of the bags toppled over as she reached for it and Callista’s heart stilled, feeling the vibration move through the heels of her feet. “Oh no...”

A couple of the hangers nearby started to sway before another, stronger vibration forced them from their positions on the frame. The clashing sound brought her from the trance-like state she’d been in and Callista swung round to find her sister running towards her, her normally brown eyes a frightened green.
“It’s happening again!” She shouted as the floor shook. A couple of people staggered, trying to find their feet as the earthquake shuddered through the store. Callista looked round to see one of the store clerks ushering a few people to one side and pulled Melody to her; it seemed this store at least had taken the government’s warning about the quakes.

A small trickle of people was moving through what looked like a steel-plated door off to one side of the store. It would lead down into a basement fully insulated and hopefully well stocked.

A lot of places had found out the hard way that the quakes were not the worst of the disasters that had suddenly started up all over England. She hunkered down next to an elderly couple and listened for the tell-tale signs of the howlers.

Interesting concept.
I hope to see more. I like the subtle character development of the Melody character into a pushy but well intended girl.
I would like to see the Callista character developed more, but I'm sure she is in the coming chapters.
The beginning is a bit cliche, almost as though it could be removed and a poem by Robert Frost or W.B. Yeats replaced in its stead.
I don't mean to bash on it. I like it. I'm just giving you a healthy dose of criticism (which you'll need if you want to make a book).
-TheGood

Lol thanks for that looks like I've got some reading to do as well. Melody is only an intro char, she won't be featured as a main and Callista does get developed more through what I've written.
The way I've written the book is a cross between Callista looking bk at things and what actually happens, hence the intro.
Uber development needed though

If you have some more, I'd enjoy reading it.

Hahahah No.
J/k. Which would you like to read more of?

That same line of story.